Climate Change Enemy Number One: Fast Food Drive-Thrus

The ever-evolving climate change hoax has a new villain that must be stopped immediately. In pursuit of its evil capitalist agenda, this terrifying enemy of earth increases litter, noise and air pollution. I'm talking about the diabolical and menacing fast food drive-thru.

If every fast food restaurant in American does not close their drive-thru lines and windows immediately, the world is more than likely going to end in approximately 6-8 years.

This is a stunning new estimate based on nothing more than the first two numbers that came to mind as I type this highly scientific expose. George Soros' puppet Greta and Comrade Ocasio Cortez were far too conservative in their estimates.

Cow farts pale in comparison to the clear and present danger posed by the BigMac express lane. If you cannot find it in your heart to believe the junk science and globalist talking points about climate change, think about the unbelievable danger drive-thru lines create for pedestrians. Long lines of gluttonous Americans fiending for their chicken nugget fix block sidewalks, increasing the risk of pedestrian accident.

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Yowie Wowie

If you have made it this far, hopefully you sense the sarcasm and satire in this work of art. However, the idea of closing or at a minimum curtailing the development of new drive-thrus is a real solution being floated by the radical left and their climate change flunkies.

Cities across the U.S. are now banning drive-thrus to fight climate change and it's absolutely insanity.

Minneapolis, famous for giving the world its greatest gift, Illahn Omar, recently banned construction of new drive-thrus. In Californian cities where more intellectual brats live a six-month ban has been placed on new drive-thrus while they study the issue. Creve Coeur, Missouri; Fair Haven, New Jersey; and Orchard Park, New York have also instituted these radical yet extremely brave policies.

In Portland where a majority of the country's basement dwelling momma's boys and Anqueefa members reside they are reassesing the use of drive-thrus. Last year the socialist utopia started requiring businesses with drive-thru windows to serve customers who arrive on foot or bicycle. I guess Portland doesn't care about the safety of pedestrians.

At a time when Barbie is fat and fat-shaming is immoral, oddly enough some cities have banned drive-thrus as a means of fighting obesity by discouraging fast-food consumption.  Yet, a study in 2008 found that obesity rates skyrocketed after Los Angeles banned opening or expanding stand-alone fast-food restaurants and drive-thru windows.

Fact of the matter is these gutter dwelling blood suckers are not going to stop until they control every aspect of our lives. It appears that now this includes our Whopper, taco and Mcflurry consumption.