Letter To Conservatives From Bernie Sanders

**This is a work of satire**

Dear American Patriots,

My name is Bernie Sanders and I am scared… I write this with shaky hands and a heavy heart. Last night what I feared the most came true.

While most of you might not have supported or agreed with my policies while I was running, I can assure you I always kept America's best interests in my heart. I write this letter to you as a warning of what will come and as insurance for when I inevitably go missing.

Last night in a puff of black smoke queen Hillary appeared before me demanding that I endorse her. While I tried to resist, she was unfortunately just too strong. I am ashamed of what I agreed to.

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While she let me keep my soul…for now, she told me once she has America in her bloody hands she would have all the souls she would ever need… She demanded I endorse her, as she knows full well that no free-thinking American would do so of their own will. She will need live bodies to finish her plans. I agreed only because I knew that if I didn’t you would never get this warning…And with a cackle of laughter, she vanished from my room.

Next thing I know it was morning. I woke in a cold sweat and thought it was all just a horrible dream…until I looked up. What I saw next immediately let me know that I can not ignore this… I must fold.

On my wall written in blood was the names of everyone she has “Taken Care Of” and at the end of that list were two names, mine and America's… When I went to touch them, they burst into flames and I heard that familiar cackle…Then heard her say fall in line or you’ll share Greg Abbott's Fate and then all the names on the wall vanished.

As much as it pains me I will submit. But America, you must not listen. Please, I write this as my last attempt to save the country I truly love. This is beyond politics. Hillary is pure evil incarnate and unless we band together it will be America who burns next.

Your Truly,

Bernie Sanders