Nancy Pelosi should debate Joe Biden.
It would be a first, a historic debate about debates.
The debate, a Geezer Gala, would pit House Speaker Pelosi, 80, an octogenarian Democrat fresh from the beauty salon, against former vice president Biden, 77, who is a septuagenarian Democrat.
The issue would be whether Biden should debate President Donald Trump. Biden says yes if it is held in his basement.
Pelosi says no, because Trump would engage in “skullduggery.”
Although “skullduggery” has nothing to do with human skulls, or digging them up, it does have a sinister ring to it. Etymologists, and ordinary people, do not know the origins of the word. But it's bad.
It does mean underhanded or unscrupulous behavior, which is what Pelosi has accused Trump of for years. That's why she impeached the skullduggerer-in-chief, even though he was acquitted of skullduggery by fellow skullduggerers in a Senate skull session.
It is amazing that Trump has not yet accused Pelosi of beauty salon skullduggery.
A Pelosi/Biden warmup debate before the main attraction would be awesome. The world would watch. Her role would be to persuade Biden not to show up for any of the three scheduled Presidential debates.
The two know every Washington trick in the books, and some that are not even in there. Between the two they have served as elected Washington officials for 77 years, so they know the lay of the land. That is longer than Trump, 74, a septuagenarian Republican, has been alive.
Pelosi has served for 33 in the House, rising to the speakership on two occasions. Biden was a U.S. senator for 36 years. He was former President Barack Obama's vice president for eight more years.
You would not know that from Biden's television ads. These commercials have Biden running the country, while Obama is running errands, and not the other way around.
But that need not come up in a Pelosi/Biden debate and, for sure, no Democrat activists from the media would bring it up anyway.
Pelosi's role in persuading Biden to shun the debates is not just because Biden lacks the energy to stand up to questioning for 90 minutes, or that he mumbles, stumbles and utters strange remarks. Pelosi is known to be off the wall herself. It is just that in her wide eyes Trump is not worthy of a debate.
“I wouldn't legitimize a conversation with him,” Pelosi said last week, nor would she “dignify” the president by debating him, she said.
Skullduggery aside, Pelosi is known to have uttered strange remarks herself. In other previous comments Pelosi called George Floyd, the man the cop killed in Minneapolis, “George Kirby.” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer called him “Floyd Taylor.”
Pelosi also had the media shaking its head when she said that “negotiating with Donald Trump it pays to have a nuclear bomb in your pocket because that will increase your negotiating power.”
After Trump questioned her mental health, Pelosi, who is second in line to the presidency, said of dealing with Trump, “He comes in with doggy doo on his shoes, and everyone who works with him has that on their shoes, too, for a very long time to come.”
Biden simply would have said of Trump, as he has said of others, “He's a lying dog-face pony soldier,” whatever that means.
The issue is whether the gaffe-prone Biden, who sometimes forgets where he is or what he says, is mentally and physically up to challenging the energetic Trump in three 90-minute television debates, let alone one.
In realty, Pelosi and Biden would be evenly matched in a debate because Pelosi is also known to have Biden-like brain seizures, forgetting where she is, what she is talking about and then peering out into space in search of a beauty parlor.
Despite her bitterness toward the president, Pelosi knows that a Biden debate with Trump would be an embarrassing set-up, and Pelosi knows about set-ups, especially at beauty salons. And Biden doesn't even have a job to talk about.
Trump, meanwhile, regularly travels the nation. He makes more decisions in an hour than Biden does in a month. He daily takes more questions from reporters than Biden does in a year.
Biden should take Pelosi's advice, drop out of the debates and stay in his basement. There he can accuse Trump of being “a lying dog-face pony soldier” who is using skullduggery to try and set him up.
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