****THIS IS A SATIRE****
What’s up dawgs! Guess what has two thumbs and just got back from Texas? This guy. I HATE Texas. I don’t think you understand, I hate Texas so much I didn’t even campaign there the first time around. My “handlers” told me that I had to go down and give my condolences to the “Blue Lives Matter” movement. What a joke. The only thin blue line they have in Texas is Austin. I gotta admit, I was surprised, though. I thought for sure the speech I gave, where I practically danced on the graves of the officers that died, would have everyone turning their backs on me. Those dumb Texas nationals didn’t even notice. Barack 1, Texas 0, not that I’m keeping score.
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I’m just glad that my propaganda machine “Black Lives Matter” is still going strong. You would think it would be harder to get the people of a country like America to turn on each other. Trust me, it’s way easier than you’d think.
I’m taking a personal day today, not only to cleanse my spirit of all the conservative cooties that were down in Texas but to also play this super cool game I had personally designed for me. It’s based on Pokemon Go, but instead of Pikachus and Charmanders, it’s drone strikes in the Middle East! Gotta kill ’em all!
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Anyway, I gotta get going, I’ve got a meeting with the leader of the New Black Panther Party. We’ve got some great things coming up, so keep an eye out.
Your Boy B!
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