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Oregon Police: “Do Not Call 9-1-1 Just Because You Ran out of Toilet Paper”

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empty toilet paper shelves in supermarket | Oregon Police: “Do Not Call 9-1-1 Just Because You Ran out of Toilet Paper” | Featured

Oregon police are asking people not to call 911 if the concern is the fact that they’ve run out of toilet paper. As many Americans run to supermarkets to stock up on supplies amid the coronavirus pandemic, the Newport Police Department posted this message on Facebook: “It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance.”

The Facebook post proceeded to talk about how “history offers many other options.”

“Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water. We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used.”

The post continued: “Mayans used corn cobs. Colonial Americans also used the core of the cob. Farmers not only used corn cobs, but used pages from the Farmers Almanac. Many Americans took advantage of the numerous pages torn from free catalogs such as Sears and Roebuck. The Sears Christmas catalog, four times thicker than the normal catalog, could get a family of three wiped clean from December through Valentine’s Day; or Saint Patrick’s Day if they were frugal.”

“[T]here are always alternatives to toilet paper. Grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting on the holder right now,” the message read.

“Plus, there are a variety of leaves you can safely use. Mother Earth News magazine will tell you how to make your own wipes using fifteen different leaves. When all else fails, you have magazine pages. Start saving those catalogs you get in the mail that you usually toss into the recycle bin. be resourceful. Be patient. There is a TP shortage. This too shall pass. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”

As the spread of the coronavirus has affected many aspects of life, there have also been empty shelves in grocery stores since many people stock up on food and other supplies.

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