Hacking Hillary: A “Love” Letter To Bill

**This is a work of satire and to you liberals that means it's just a joke**

Editor's note – Our Russian “friend” leaked another one of Hillary's emails to us on Friday. It appears to be some sort of love letter to Bill from Hillary. They sure do have a strange relationship.

[Leaked on 8.19.16]

Dear Bill,

I know you’ll never check your email and will therefore never read this … Good! This is all the things I want to say to you “darling.” I hate you. I’ve always hated you. Despite the clear results that our political union has given us, it still almost isn’t worth it. You are a disgusting pig and I am sick of having to share the stage and spotlight with you. You'd never have been elected all those times if it wasn’t for me bribing and blackmailing the election committees. Don’t even get me started on how many ballot boxes I had to stuff, at least that’s one upside to electronic voting machines, less work rigging the system.

Thank Lucifer, that Donald Trump hasn’t used you in his attack ads. If the American People really understood just how awful of a human being you are then there is no way they would ever let you, and by extension me, back into the White House. If you ever become a major public liability to me then I will simply have to “remove” you from the public’s eye. Don’t test me.

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One more thing, what’s this I hear about you trying to leave our foundation? I need you at the head of it running the show. Don’t forget where our money comes from. Do I need to explain it again? It’s really not that hard to follow, rich donors “donate” money to our “legal charity” and then we move the money “legally” to our personal bank accounts. Don’t let me find out you’ve been actually giving money away to the needy!

Finally, when I get back I’m coming to your office and if I find a single female staffer or intern you’ll going to pay!  If you do NEED to take care of your “urges” just call the account I set up for you, numbers on the fridge. After all, the last thing I need from you is yet another scandal.  If this keeps up, Trump will have the woman vote too.

Ohh well, I know you won’t be reading any of this which is too bad. I might as well tell you the truth then. If I don’t win this election we are done, but I don’t mean divorce … If I lose you’re going to have an “accident.” You know how I handle myself, so don’t disappoint me.

Regards,

Hillary

Read the previous email in the series here