Humor
Hacking Hillary: A Secret Russian Friend
**This is a work of satire and to you liberals that means it's just a joke**
Editor's note – Our Russian “friend” leaked yet another one of Hillary's emails to us on Friday.This time to none other than Russian president Vladimir Putin. Are they really working together?
[Leaked on 9.9.16]
Dear Putin,
I won’t waste time with pleasantries. Have you caught the hacker who keeps stealing my emails yet? Knowing you, you probably gave him a job. We’ll cut it out!
I know how you feel about the American people, but if they keep seeing these hacks then they might actually wake up and stop me and then I won’t be president and that's bad for both of us. Don't forget what we've worked so hard for?
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Now, I know you’ve been having your fun with Donald … To think he actually thinks your endorsements are helping him. Such a simple man. Don’t waste too much time playing with his mind though, he can’t be allowed to win. Besides, we need to focus on Syria.
Turkey has gone rogue. They upped their game and actually came close to defeating ISIS in only a few days. This must be stopped. Talk to your people in Ankara and let them know, ISIS is under my protection! Just tell them that once I get elected, I’ll clear them out, but not a minute before. I don’t want to have this conversation again, okay? Benghazi is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what I'll do to keep my power. Don't ever forget that.
Just remember, two more months and I’ll be president and then you can relax, go swimming for exotic treasures, lock up, torture, and kill journalists, and leave running the world to me. When I’m in charge we’re all be richer and more powerful than ever, but if I fail and Donald Trump should win, then I will be your worst nightmare.
So in close, be a good soldier … And do as you’re told!
Regards,
Hillary
