****THIS IS SATIRE****
The country music world was in shock this week as black rights groups called some of it’s biggest stars to BOYCOTT the CMAs for the lack of diversity in the each category.
A group allegedly tied to Black Lives Matter, who are known for their racist values and huge chips on their shoulders, gathered up activists the black community—who only make an appearance when there is a race card to play—and called on black country music stars such as Milton Patton, Darius Rucker (from Hootie and the Blowfish fame) and Cowboy Troy to drop out of the show in a stance at the country world being “predominantly white.”
A spokesperson from the group told exactly why they want this boycott to happen. Ted “Chip” Chipperson, a 23-year-old, unemployed white college student, said, “For too long now, the country music world has gotten away with their racist actions and overly white charts, concerts and awards shows. We want that to stop. We want them to acknowledge their lack of diversity and make an even playing field for black country artists.”
When asked to explain how country music stars such as Darius Rucker, Cowboy Troy and many other black artists were selling out arena tours to 98% white crowd and winning multiple awards for their talents over the years, Chipperson told us that he’s like to see the proof of that as it “sounds like white people using their privilege in the media to give false statistics.” We sent him photographs and videos of the concerts and award shows, including speeches from each artist but we are still awaiting a response.
It was only a matter of time before the race card was played in the country music industry. Just this week, the Oscars was hit with controversy when the more unpopular of the Smith family of actors, Jada Pickett Smith, made a video SLAMMING the awards because her, less than average of an actor husband, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, was not recognized for the instantly forgettable movie he made that no one watched. Smith—who forgot that the very industry she was calling were the very people who finance her multi-million dollar lifestyle which made her and The Fresh Prince two of the richest black people in the world—also gained support from Al Sharpton and other race-baiters to call out the awards show. This resulted in all future Oscars being forced to appease the black community and now means that any black actor who wins an award going forward will not have done it out of merit like all those before them.
In the country world, the response was less concerning. When we reached out to each of the stars named in the group’s “call to action,” they were laughing so hard, we couldn’t make out what they were saying.
It turns out that when it comes to country music, it seems that race just isn’t a thing.
