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Election 2016

Trump Would Be Better Off With These Fairy Tale VP Picks

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Donald Trump's VP Picks, see more at: https://absoluterights.com/donald-trumps-picks-for-vp/

Donald Trump’s VP Picks (Image: NYDailyNews)

****Satire****

We’ve all seen those ads on the edge of your computer screen that tend to demand your attention from time to time. You know the ones that will say things like, “11 Historical Pictures That Will Blow Your Mind,” or, “20 Ways To Lose Weight Fast,” we’ve all seen and clicked on one of them at one time or another. Well, today I saw one that I had to share. Nicholas Parco recently has created a picture list of all the fictional characters that could possibly be running mates of Donald Trump and posted it onto to The Daily News, I hope you guys have as much fun with this list as I did.

The first one on the list is Patrick Bateman.

Donald Trump's VP Picks, see more at: https://absoluterights.com/donald-trumps-picks-for-vp/

Donald Trump’s VP Picks(Image: YouTube)

I’m sure you’ve all seen the movie American Pyscho based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis, which starred Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman. Although Christian Bale’s character Patrick Bateman had a handful of messed up qualities, spoiler alert for those of you who haven’t seen it – he liked to dissect women, his strive for physical and business perfection might just make him the perfect running mate for Donald Trump. Minus, of course, the murder and psychopathic insanity. With Trump’s money and Patrick Batemans drive and esteem for the best of the best, we just might get some work done around here.

Of course, the two might not become the best of friends. Bateman tends to want to be the center of attention, and, after all, Trump is the one running for President which means Bateman would have to be the one in the passenger seat, which I have a feeling wouldn’t roll over to well.

The second one on the list is Derek Vinyard.

Donald Trump's VP Picks, see more at: https://absoluterights.com/donald-trumps-picks-for-vp/

Donald Trump’s VP Picks (Image: LingVistov)

I personally thought the second candidate for Donald Trump’s running mate was a little…controversial. The only thing that people could even remotely connect with these two guys is their views on immigration, although Derek Vinyard is far more passionate it about it then Trump is. The movie American History X was met with a lot of controversial thoughts, and yet so has Donald Trump’s views on the American border. Some people are completely on Trump’s side, voting for a wall disconnecting Mexico from America and then, some people aren’t.

Either way, you look at it, building a wall at the southern border of America has never even been talked about in the history of our country. Yes, we have a fence there and we consider immigration to be an important thing, whether the Government takes it seriously or not, we as a country find immigration to be an important part of our foundation as a nation. We are a country of immigrants, we all traveled from one country to this one to find a better life, Italian, German, British, Indian, even Mexican or Latin.

The third choice on the list is Bob The Builder.

Donald Trump's VP Picks, see more at: https://absoluterights.com/donald-trumps-picks-for-vp/

Donald Trump’s VP Picks (Image: Wikipedia)

Who better to help Trump with his plans for a wall then the ever compliant Bob the Builder. Actually, if Derek Vinyard was on Trump’s team, they would have no choice but to get Bob the Builder to come aboard and help them get that wall done. I mean can Bob fix it? “Yes he can,” that’s his motto anyway. Bob the Builder is an expert builder, as his name implies, so not only could he get the wall done, but I’m sure that he could turn it into a giant fantastical image – of course, that would eventually be a part of Trump Tower as another form of  real estate property for Donald Trump.

The fourth choice in the list is Voldemort.

Donald Trump's VP Picks, see more at: https://absoluterights.com/donald-trumps-picks-for-vp/

Donald Trump’s VP Picks (Image: Vivliaserres)

I know what your thinking. How could a guy filled with such hatred for Harry Potter have anything in common with the presumptive Republican nominee? Well, I bet it will shock you when you find out what it is they share. Just like Voldemort, Trump has been able to defeat anyone who came in his path with the ease of a true dark wizard. First, it was Rubio, out like a fading star. Then it came down to Kasich, Cruz, and Voldemort (Trump) himself, and almost like magic, Cruz drops out of the race. Then, from pure fear of Voldemort’s (Trump’s) pure power Kasich dropped out as well. 

If Trump and Voldemort ever did end up joining forces they would be an unstoppable team, also, Daniel Ratcliff would probably never be allowed to step foot in America again but that is a story for another time.

It’s Donald Trump’s drive that makes him similar to Voldemort. Voldemort never lets anything stop him, not the wizards, not the muggles, not even Harry Potter, much like Trump’s campaign. Trump has had many situations where people have tried to stop his campaign and get him to slow down, yet to everyone’s surprise, he has continued to fight. That drive landed him the Republican presumptive nominee.

Now the only one in Voldemorts (Trumps) way is Harry Potter (Hillary Clinton) himself, and he will fight to the death to rid Hogwarts of his presence.

 

The fifth choice is Jack Donaghy.

Donald Trump's VP Picks, see more at: https://absoluterights.com/donald-trumps-picks-for-vp/

Donald Trump’s VP Picks (Image: DeviantArt)

For those of you who haven’t seen 30 Rock,  Jack Donaghy is a high level and influential television executive with the special talent of spitting out insults quicker than most people can form simple sentences. His power in the television world just might turn Donald Trump’s campaign into a masterful showcase that would definitely get him the presidency. 

Most of the comments that Jack Donaghy says are directed at Liz Lemons (Tina Fey’s character in the show) and not only are they mostly about women but they actually closely relate to things that Trump has actually said.

Not only do they share the same view on women, power, and whirling insults at anything that gets too close to them, they share one major thing in common. They love themselves. They love the sound of their own voices and can’t get enough time with themselves which would make these two a powerhouse political team.

 

There, of course, were some other choices in the list of fictional characters that could run with Donald Trump, if you’re interested in checking out the rest take a look here.

So far the only person that Trump has actually called to action in his team is Chris Christie. We all know that Trump has some tricks up his sleeve when it comes to his running mate, he hasn’t told us yet who he is thinking of nominating but we know that the announcement will come just at the best moment.

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